Quotations and Aphorisms
Part 2:

Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
-Euripides-

I am not an Athenian or a Greek, I am a citizen of the world.
-Socrates-

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
-Mark Twain-

All of us do not have the same talent, but all of us should have an equal opportunity to develop our talents.
- John F. Kennedy -

Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.
-Tolstoy-

It is better to remain silent and thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.
-Anonymous-

Is sex dirty? Only when it's being done right.
-Woody Allen-

He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would fully suffice.
-Albert Einstein-

Many people would rather die than think; in fact, most do.
-Bertrand Russell-

I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves.
-August Strindberg-

He who can, does. He who cannot, teaches.
-George Bernard Shaw-

A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain.
-Robert Frost-

You will soon break the bow if you keep it always stretched.
-Phaedrus-

The optimist proclaims we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true.

One death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.
-Joseph Stalin-

To generalize is to be an idiot.
-William Blake-

Technological progress is like an axe in the hands of a pathological criminal.
-Albert Einstein-

The only way to have a friend is to be one.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson -

Hegel was right when he said that we learn from history that man can never learn anything from history.
-George Bernard Shaw-

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
-Albert Einstein-

There are two rules for success: 1) Never tell everything you know.
-Roger H. Lincoln-

The only difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.

No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there's too much fraternizing with the enemy.
-Henry Kissinger-

What is a committee? A group of the unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary.
-Richard Harkness-

The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
-Niels Bohr-

Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson-

Know her mind and you can have her body, know her heart and you have her soul
-Anonymos-

I often quote myself. It adds spice to my conversation.
-George Bernard Shaw-

Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
-Albert Einstein-

A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend upon the support of Paul.
-George Bernard Shaw-

Music washes away from the soul the dust of every-day life
-Auberbach-

The hands that help are better far than the lips that pray.
-Robert G. Ingersoll-

Was she so loved because her eyes were so beautiful or were her eyes so beautiful because she was loved?
-Anzia Yezierska-

If a million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing.
-Anatole France-

Bachelors know more about women than married men do. If they didn't, they'd be married too.
-H. L. Mencken-

The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, and the second half by our children.
-Clarence Darrow-

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
-Socrates-

The only thing we learn from history is that we learn nothing from history.
-Fiedrich Hegel-

The man who strikes first admits that his ideas have given out.
-Chinese Proverb-

When you take stuff from one writer it's plagiarism; but when you take it from many writers, it's research.
-Wilson Mizner-

Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
-Ambrose Bierce-

The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
-Gloria Leonard -

All censorships exist to prevent any one from challenging current conceptions and existing institutions. All progress is initiated by challenging current conceptions, and executed by supplanting existing institutions. Consequently the first condition of progress is the removal of censorships.
-George Bernard Shaw-

Do not take life too seriously; you will never get out of it alive.
-Elbert Hubbard-

To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it.
-Confucius-

Platonic friendship: The interval between the introduction and the first kiss.
-Sophie Irene Loeb-

Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber.
-Plato-

In the end, everything is a gag.
-Charlie Chaplin-

A ship is always referred to as 'she' because it costs so much to keep one in paint and powder.
-Chester Nimitz-

Egoist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
-Ambrose Bierce-

The best way to have a good idea is to have a lot of ideas.
-Linus Pauling-

When you have nothing to say, say nothing.
-Charles Caleb Colton-

A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
-Gore Vidal-

No sane man will dance
-Cicero-

It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen-

Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
-Voltaire-

640K ought to be enough for anybody.
-Bill Gates, 1981-

The Bible tells us to love our neighbors and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people.
-Mark Twain-

Alimony is like buying oats for a dead horse
-Arthur Baer-

If a man is pictured chopping off a woman's breast, it only gets a R rating, but if, God forbid, a man is pictured kissing a woman's breast, it gets an X rating. Why is violence more acceptable than tenderness?
-Sally Struthers-

An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.
-Laurence J. Peter-

All great truths begin as blasphemies.
-George Bernard Shaw-

It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.
-Mark Twain-

When you sit with a nice girl for two hours, you think it's only a minute. But when you sit on a hot stove for a minute, you think it's two hours. That's relativity.
-Albert Einstein-

As to marriage or celibacy, let a man take the course he will. He will be sure to repent.
-Socrates-

A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
-Sir Winston Churchill-

Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.
-Jules Renard-

The more he talked of his honor, the faster we counted our spoons.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson-

Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them.
-Samuel Butler-

Every morning when I awake, the greatest of joys is mine: that of being Salvador Dali...
-Salvator Dali-

Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.
-Albert Einstein-

Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.
-Mark Twain-

Snobbery is the pride of those who are not sure of their position
-Berton Braley-

A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
-Sir Winston Churchill-

It is impossible to make anything foolproof, because fools are so ingenious
-Roger Berg-

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.
-Mark Twain-

Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
-Benjamin Franklin-

Only two things are certain: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not certain about the universe.
-Albert Einstein-

It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and say the opposite.
-Sam Levenson-

There are several good precautions against temptation, but the surest is cowardice.
-Mark Twain-

"You, sir, are drunk."
-Woman-
"Yes. But you, madam, are ugly, and I shall be sober in the morning."
-Winston Churchill-

Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
-Albert Einstein-

Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel.
-John Quinton-

An age is called Dark not because the light fails to shine, but because people refuse to see it.
-James Michener-

Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel.
-Samuel Johnson-

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory.
-Albert Schweitzer-

A ship in harbor is safe -- but that is not what ships are for.
-John A. Shedd-

All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.
-Ambrose Bierce-

Democracy is a device that insures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.
-George Bernard Shaw-